The Unforgiven

I promise.

I know that probably doesn't mean much anymore, but I promise to make this more frequent. I finally have motivation to do that, so you'll be able to read my incoherent ramblings on a semi-daily basis now. Hurrah!

I'm not exactly "firing on all cylinders" today so try to bear with me. Just speaking my mind.

Let's see, it's been a while since I last posted. I had a fairly eventful spring break. Unfortunately I couldn't tag along on a mission trip to San Francisco as I had already made plans. From what I hear, though, they had an incredible experience helping the poor and homeless in the city, one that completely changed their perspective on the subject. I'm glad for them, and am kicking myself for not having gone. The best I can do is offer an awesome song that relates to it.

In place of that, I was able to hang out with some old friends, actually complete driver's ed, go to an A's game, and have a pretty fun dinner & game night with some very important people in my life. So, not all was lost. Last Friday I went to an improv show entitled "ComedySportz". I'll save you the details on what it is and how it works because if I tell you, you'll think exactly what I did: that's cheesy and stupid and won't be funny. For just the 4th time in my life, I was flagrantly wrong. Check them out, they're all over the US.

Aside from that, I'm just waiting. Waiting for the school year to be over. I'm just a term paper, a couple projects, and some finals away from that happening. About four and a half more weeks. Can't wait.

Now, for the absolute first time in my life, I've been all over the place emotionally. Well, I shouldn't say emotionally, I guess...just in terms of confidence. There's one thing that plays a huge part in that that only a couple people know about, but there are a lot of things aside from that. Sometimes I just need somebody to confide in, and I don't have that person I trust enough to do so. And I don't know that I have the ability to trust anybody that much, or to get anybody to care enough. I don't know. I can't (or just deliberately won't) explain it too much right now. Maybe that's why I promise to write here more frequently...somewhere to get out my thoughts. Then again, that sounds incredibly contradictory and stupid. Unsurprisingly, oftentimes that's exactly how I've felt recently. Meh.

I've always sort of felt a need for an "escape" from things, but never moreso than recently. That's usually baseball and music. Never more have those two things served a more important purpose in my life. I've preached about how awesome (awesome counter:2) the game of baseball is, but it's one thing that always comforts me. Watching it, talking about it, I love the game. Perhaps that's why I've been so high and low after A's wins and losses this year. I've never had more invested in this team than I do now.

Music...is great. It's funny, just 4 or 5 years ago I claimed to "not really listen to music that much". That's mostly because I was sort of shielded from "good" music. If you look hard enough, there's a lot of it that has a lot of meaning behind it, and that can help you. A lot of times it's relaxing. A lot of times you can just get lost in it. I can't imagine a life without music now.

This got way more serious/deep/personal than I ever intended, so here's a polar bear with a chainsaw.

Video:

Apocalyptica is a band composed of four Finnish cellists. Sounds incredibly unappealing, doesn't it? Well it's not. So stop thinking that. This is not an original song, but rather a song from their album of Metallica covers, "Plays Metallica by Four Cellos". This is the best cover of "The Unforgiven" I've heard, instrumental or non-instrumental. These are some talented Fins. Enjoy!