I've Got Friends

And they...

Will dance if they want to dance
Please brother take a chance
You know they're gonna go
Which way they wanna go

All...we...know is that
we don't know...

The Masterplan - Oasis


Well, this is new.

Yes, quite a change from my forlorn and bordering on pathetic feelings of just a couple weeks ago. I am unusually happy right now. Maybe it's because the end of the school year is approaching very quickly. Maybe it's because the A's have won four out of their last five. Maybe it's because the giants lost Buster Posey. Maybe I don't really want to know how your garden grows.

Whatever it may be, I'm enjoying it and I hope it continues. Today marks day three of our well-timed four-day weekend. I've been able to have a low-key, easy-going weekend which hasn't happened in a while. I finally slept in today after about a week straight of getting fewer than 7 hours of sleep. I wish I could wake up at nine every day. Well, technically I could. Hmm.

Got a much needed haircut yesterday. Yeah, I'm probably not going to let my hair grow for two months again. It's amazing what a combination of busy-ness and laziness can do. Went out to dinner at Market Broiler last night, which has changed very much since the last time I was there. Ordered this sushi -- sushi is awesome, by the way -- that was incredible. Spicy tuna, crabmeat, cream cheese...holy crap it was amazing. The waitress was really cute, too. That's always good.

I meant to blog last night, if for no other reason to share the song Saturday Night, by the Kaiser Chiefs. There it is...but it doesn't really have the same effect on Sunday Morning, you know? Well, I guess now it's technically Sunday Afternoon. Actually -- don't click on that last one. That whole thing seemed cool in theory, but who am I to subject you to something as awful as Rascal Flatts? I apologize.

I'm very music-oriented right now, after putting about 150 new songs on my iPod yesterday. That includes just about everything, from Pearl Jam to Bob Dylan to Muse to the Black Keys to Incubus and a bunch of other stuff. I always love listening to stuff I either haven't ever listened to or haven't listened to in a while. New and fresh is always good when it comes to music. Have to have a good variety, I think.

Well, I'm starving, so, even though I know how interested you are in the goings-on of my life, I'm going to go make breakfast right now. You have to click on that last one, it's possibly the greatest thing anyone I ever know has done. Kudos to my buddies from CPC.

Video:

A friend of mine has been posting the songs from Manchester Orchestra's new album, which I haven't gotten a chance to listen to in its entirety yet, but because of that I've been listening to a ton of their songs lately. This is, unquestionably, my favorite song from them. It's great, listen to it. Enjoy!

Interview with a Veteran

In your head monsters call
In the air you find no one
Is there at all

But you keep them alive
Paralyzed you cannot run
You only crawl

- New Way To Live - Alter Bridge

Today a friend (Karandeep) and I had the pleasure of interviewing a Vietnam war veteran. We met Joe when we were volunteering at Centerville Presbyterian Church, and he graciously agreed to sit down with us for a little bit. Rather than a normal blog post, I'll post the transcription of our interview. There's some pretty powerful stuff in here, so I hope you guys enjoy it:

Kyle: Ummm…what do I want to start off with….so once you got to, um, once you got to the war first, where did you go? Where were you stationed?

Joe: We were in Okinawa, we were in Cambodia….

Deep: First you went to Cambodia?

Joe: Yeah.

Kyle: Do you remember, like, sort of like how you felt when you first got there, when you stepped off the plane?

Joe: Yeah, scared. Scared to death. No fun, no adventures. Hell. Once you got over there, you would be fighting for your life. If you don’t kill the people you’re supposed to, you will get killed, you’ll die. 17, 18 year old kid, you die.

(At this point we were interrupted by a guy coming in the camper, but he left and we resumed)

Joe…I was 18 years old

Kyle: 18 years old when you went in?

Joe: Yeah.18. Some people were 15…young kids, rich kids.

Kyle: Yeah…we were actually watching a film on it , about how, sometimes they’d tell kids to lie about their ages

Joe: They did, yeah. To go help their country, yeah they did. They said they were 18, were supposed to be 18, but were really actually 16.

Kyle: So, when you got there, how long before you were fighting or you were in combat?

Joe: 3 years.

Kyle: No, how long did it take, like once you got there were you…did you go straight to fighting?

Joe: Yep, straight. Going off, jumping off the helicopter, to the jungle. Into the jungle.

Kyle: Oh wow

Deep: You were like a replacement for the people…

Joe: People who were coming out. They would be able to go back home, eat, because, they’ve been there for more years.

Deep: Where were you stationed in?

Joe: I was in Vietnam…the base. From there, to the jungle, and then from there I went to, uh…I was in Georgia, doing training too, and Okinawa.

Kyle: Okinawa?

Joe: Yeah and we…were with 6 friends. And 3 of us came back, 3 died. Once you’re in there, your time goes so slow. And…all you see is body parts all over the place, and you know, you either kill or you’re being killed. First time I (killed somebody) I was…so shocked. Now, what I do, I help out the church to (forgive) myself for what I did when I was young, so God will forgive me, for what I did. So that’s why I work to…help out the church, and help people out.

Deep: Do you…do you think that, the war you were fighting in, was it pointless?

Joe: If it was worth it?

Deep: If it was worth it for your –

Joe: No!

Kyle: Anything…was there anything good that came out…

Joe: I didn’t believe in that!

Kyle: You didn’t believe in war?

Joe: No. I’m a Catholic. You know, I didn’t believe in killing and all that but…you do what the President says, or else you go to jail.

Deep: So you were basically like forced to…

Joe: …I got drafted.

Kyle: Did you ever think about maybe like burning your draft card or anything?

Joe: No, but when I got back…yes!

(Laughter)

Joe: Yes, it was hell! I never thought I would make it back over here, you guys. You know, I prayed every day, all day long…you don’t sleep at day time, you don’t sleep at night time, you sleep, you ‘re dead. Three years is a long time. And you count your days, while you’re worried about staying alive, still…and we had to kill young kids, because they were carrying bombs, and blew up our troops. You know, things like that it’s…no fun, it’s a nightmare. Took me two years for rehab…I’m, a little bit crazy ‘cause of all the stuff that happened. And sometimes, you know, I can’t sleep you know, because I get nightmares. When I go to sleep right now, still right now.

Deep: It’s like an everlasting effect

Joe: Yeah I mean, it went away for a couple of years, but it still comes back and you (get those feelings) again.

Kyle: Well the main thing with our project is we’re supposed to compare like the circumstances of the Vietnam War and the Iraq War, which I know was..nowhere near..

Joe: Vietnam was much worse than Iraq!

Kyle: Yeah, way more deadly! But…the only thing I was wondering about is that, like..I was reading in an interview with an Iraq guy and he said how some people, some of the Iraqis…liked having them there, and some of them didn’t like having them there…did you, like how did the South Vietnamese feel about…

Joe: They didn’t like having us there

Kyle: They didn’t like you guys at all?

Deep: They didn’t help you out at all?

Joe: Well…for me being there, it made me more…wiser and more, not scared of nothing. ‘Cause I already been to hell…you know, but I made it back with…God’s help, I guess…

Kyle: Did you…feel any, like, personal hatred toward the Vietcong and the people fighting you or were just there trying to…

Joe: Just there…I just done my duties.

Deep: Just following orders?

Joe: Just following orders. Yup, they give you different work, you’re supposed to report, or else you go to prison. So I just done…my orders…

Kyle: Were you…did you ever get captured, were you ever a POW?

Joe: Uh..no. Almost…no. I was in the jungle…for 3 months. 102 degress hot in the foxhole...water up to here (motions to waist)…eating bugs. You gotta survive one way or another. Monkey brains…

Deep: You had to survive off that…

Joe: Whatever, you know, you’re hungry, you eat. They don’t give you…they don’t give you a tv dinner here or…just a small little can about this big.

Deep: So about the, uh, the equipment that you carried, was it…really really heavy…

Joe: You carry your weight, 150 pounds.

Kyle: Oh wow

Joe: You’re all packed up…your rifle, your knife and, I mean you’re all..and your gun. I actually carried 175 pounds ‘cause I weighed 150 and..25 pounds more heavier, with you, and you’re gonna need it.

Kyle: And then you have like, colonels and sergeants tellin’ you to move your ass and stuff when you’re trying to…trying to carry all…

Joe: Yeah you fall on the ground, then a snake gets to you and…all kinds of stuff…

Kyle: How did you…feel about, like, your fellow soldiers and and your officers, how did you all get along?

Joe: You had to. You didn’t get along, you’d be dead. You follow orders and you help people out…that’s your, that’s your family right there. I mean, we’re here to do our business and we do what we gotta do. Your platoon, that’s your family, right there.

Kyle: Speaking of that, were you able to keep in touch with your family at all, while you were there?

Joe: Never, no. Three years, no.

Deep: So you were basically cut off?

Joe: No…no family. Nothing. When they told me my day was up, I was so happy. I jumped in the helicopter so quick. And then he asked me if I wanted to, to be reassigned!

(Laughter)

Kyle: Do you remember…where you were, like, when they told you, you could go home? Do you remember where…like were you out…

Joe: In the jungle. I spent the three years out there.

Kyle: Did you…are you still friends with anyone that you met out there, or…from Vietnam are there any other soldiers that you knew…

Joe: People here, my friends, they were with me..

Kyle: Oh, they went to Vietnam?

Joe: Yeah and now we’re all here hanging out, and we get together sometimes.

Kyle: It’s horrible you know the people that were out there…fighting for our country…I just think you guys should be treated a little better than…like you see all those, like, the movie stars who live out in those, like, up in those…that should be you guys, you know, you guys who…went out there and died and risked your lives for us.

Joe: You know I’m still having a hard time with it, because, all that happened I get nightmares still…and when I walk I feel like I’m gonna step on a mine, or it feels like…I can’t think right…’cause my minds already all, messed up. But…I’ll survive.

Kyle: Hey, if you survived that, then ..you can survive anything this, this is nothing!

Joe: I’m tellin’ you I never…never thought I was gonna make it! I mean, I was out there and uh, I thought I would die. My mom even told me, she said, I don’t think you’ll come back. But..I made it back, I don’t know how, but I did.

Deep: How did your family react..to you being back?

Joe: Oh…the whole family…they had a big old party.

Deep: What about when you were shipped off?

Joe: They had a big old party for me. All the neighbors…they had a big old party for me. All people from…Kennedy High Scool. I went to Kennedy High School when it was brand new. That’s where Tower of Power (said with an accent) started you head of Tower of Power, a band called Tower of Power? That’s where they started from, Kennedy High School. Some good bands started there and got famous.

Kyle: Oh, wait, what were their names?

Joe: Tower of Power?

Kyle: Oh, I’ve heard of them!

Joe (sings): “You’re still a young man…”

Kyle: Yeah yeah, oh wow, I didn’t know that!

Joe: The original singers!

Kyle: Oh, ok! That’s cool, did you know them?

Joe: I knew them. One of, uh…one of them was my sister’s boyfriend. But uh…hey if you guys ever get drafted go to, go…go north, go to Canada!

(Kyle and Deep laugh)

Joe: It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it…just, be with your family. I love everybody, I love everybody. And that’s why I go out, helping people out, because, I do what I did and..I’m still hurting for it.

Kyle: Yeah…y-you don’t have to feel bad, man. You did what you had to do.

Deep: Yeah.

Joe: I had to do it, so I did it. Or else I’d be, behind bars. Look at that…Muhammad Ali guy…he got drafted, he went to jail….he said he don’t believe in killing so they put him in jail. I coulda done that, but I…

Deep: Sacrifice…you had to sacrifice…

Joe: I just did what I had to do. I think I’m more of a man, I’m more wiser, now. Because, when I was a youngster, I was a bad boy. I was in gangs. I showed up from LA…13 years old I was in gangs, and, moved up to Fremont and I got here and I was in gangs…the army helped me out a lot. When I was in the army I turned into more of a man.

Kyle: Well I guess that’s, that’s about the only good thing that came out…

Joe: I came back and, I was smarter and, not being in trouble and, being more, uh, dependable….I don’t believe in killing, I love everybody.

Kyle: You have anything else?

Deep: No, that’s about it.

(we all exchange goodbyes…)

Video:

War-themed song for Joe...Bullet for my Valentine is very much a heavy metal, metalcore-type band. So if you're not into that...I wouldn't listen. Here's "Scream, Aim, Fire". Enjoy!

Oh So Close

Try accepting this
Why not face today
Forever one to crawl out
Fade out next to lazy
End it all within

Humanoid - Chevelle

Waiting.

That is the theme right now.

Waiting for this stupid video file to convert to .avi, that is why I am writing this. Waiting four more weeks for school to be over, that is why I am waiting for the video to convert which is why I am writing this. I hate waiting. I'm not patient, especially when it's 11:30 and I'm exhausted.

Had a pretty decent weekend...watched my grandpa yesterday as he has bronchitis and is limited in what he can do. After that, I went to the Comedysportz All-star show which was, of course, awesome. Except for these two women who weren't really that funny. But that's funny in itself, that they would be so unfunny. At least to me it is. I don't know. Took it easy today, went over to my friend's to do this video and am now waiting.

Oh, and there's supposedly this baseball team in Oakland that played this weekend, but I think "baseball team" and "played"are rather generous terms to use for them. I'll leave it at that.

Oh yeah, the rapture! Man, that was the best rapture ever. But seriously though, people actually quit their jobs and spent their life savings because some old wackjob said the world would end? They deserve to be raptured, those idiots. I'm glad to see people were able to make light of it though. There were "post-rapture" celebrations today and some people even blew up balloons shaped as humans and released them, among other things. I can't believe that Harold Camping guy was serious...and he said there was "absolutely no way" it wouldn't happen.

There's being senile, and then there's being unqualified for life. You, sir, are the latter.

Hey, what do you know, the video is about done converting. I don't have any of my usual ramblings about my shortcomings for you today, so that'll be all until next time.

Video:

Hmm...I'm feeling like some Silversun Pickups right now. So, here's some Silversun Pickups. Enjoy!

Hammerhead

Cause we might as well be blind
If seeing is believing

- "If God Smokes Cheap Cigars", Envy on the Coast

Hey there. Haven't posted since last Saturday, been a little busy. I'd just like to point out that I was right about the A's losing Sunday, so I think I deserve a pat on the back. *Pats self on back*. Thanks, self.

STAR testing this week, normally not good. But when the class I'm taking it in is film, and the STAR test is really easy, well, it becomes awesome. Watched three films already, including the Social Network. I had never seen it, so I was surprised to learn that Mark Zuckerberg is a thief. Huh, the more you know.

I've been thinking a lot lately about taking that proficiency exam thing to get out of high school early. High school has always been fairly annoying, but I've gotten to the point where I really don't think there's more to get out of it. Nothing is getting done in terms of development, whether it be mentally or intellectually or whatever. I don't want to say I feel too good for high school, but I'm going to. I'd like to start taking college classes and get a job, and start being productive. Take steps toward where I want to go, you know?

I know and understand the arguments against this. "Oemgy high school is the best time of your life! You just don't know it! It's the memories! You're gonna throw away your senior year of high school! But things that don't matter happen!" I get it. But really, if high school ends up being the best time of my life, then something went seriously wrong in my life. By the time I'm, say, 25 or 30, I expect to have enough "memories" to make up for the supposedly important things I'd be missing.

But then again, I might stay. Who knows? Stay tuned to find out.

I had a whole other thing I was going to write about, but completely forgot what it was. I'll have to think. Let's see. There are some 24 year olds mooching off their parents right now on Dr Phil. That's mildly interesting. But that's not it.

Hm.

Drawing a blank. Oh well. Met a Vietnam War vet earlier, he was a cool guy. Senseless war, though, insane what it did to people. Looking to go see an improv tournament this weekend. That should be awesome. Improv is great, in case you didn't know. I think that lyric up there is really profound. It can apply to several different things. Think about it.

That's about it for now. Maybe if I actually can remember things I'll add some stuff later. Have a good night, people.

Video:

The Offspring are cool. I don't know that anybody denies that. So there's not really any explanation needed here. This is Hammerhead. Enjoy.

Hollis and Morris

I can't find release, ain't
no release anywhere I been
I knew all along just where
I needed to go to have it kick in
Won't you send me a saint from
grace, round here there's none
to be had

- Hollis and Morris, the Trews

Hey there. I lead off with this because this song has been stuck in my head for a couple days now. I'm a little shocked the Trews aren't more mainstream, they have that sort of sound. Anyway, I'm sure there can be some sort of connection drawn between these lyrics and how I feel, but that's not really why they're there. I just like the song.

I had an interesting textversation (you see what I did there?) with a good friend yesterday and the night before. She said something that really stuck out to me, that she's sick of being interested and not being the interest. I can definitely relate to that. She was talking more about dating, and I can relate there too. I've only asked anybody out twice. In one case I dodged a bullet, the other was a little harder. I think I've been sort of notorious (in the sense that my inflated sense of self-worth tells me I can be notorious for something) for being against dating in high school. There are several bigger reasons, but one is that I don't like having to stick my foot out there and have it stepped on. If it does happen, the interest has to be initiated by her, not me. At least until college, where people are more sophisticated. Wow, that sounded really douchey, huh? Oh well.

Anyway, it goes beyond dating. Any relationship I've had with people, any skill I've developed, it never came naturally. I had to initiate it. Either that's a byproduct of me thinking too much, or I'm that unappealing of a person. Every day, more and more, and think it's the latter. And that's a horrible feeling, to think you're not just naturally appealing or naturally gifted. I don't say that the way an attractive girl says she's ugly in order to get compliments -- I truly believe it. It's not an insurmountable quality to have, but damn it sure does make things harder. Also, I'm pretty sure there's a dirty joke somewhere in that last sentence.

I would like to applaud myself for following through on my promise of making this more frequent. Two posts within three days, that has to be a record.

Let's see, what else. You might remember me being stoked for the premiere of Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza. Well, it's been on for over a month now and it is definitely as advertised. The one thing I love about watching improv is that it doesn't get stale. By definition, it can't. I've watched every episode of this season of Family Guy, and then the first few episodes of South Park and just thought, damn, you know? They just stopped being funny. It's almost like they've gotten so wrapped up in themselves that they don't try as hard to be funny anymore. They're complacent, and think/know the smallest or least creative joke will get a laugh simply because they have an audience. They don't have to worry about ratings. With Family Guy in particular, it seems like they're more interested in the episode looking good than being funny these days.

That's what is so great improv, there's no such thing as getting complacent. If you're not getting laughs, you have no audience. You get no paycheck. You have no choice but to get laughs, and I love to laugh. Improv is the business people. I hate that phrase, so I don't know why I just said that. "The business". Like, what the hell does that even mean? Watch Improv-A-Ganza every day at 5, 8, or 11 on GSN people. It's worth it.

I think that's about all I have to say. A's won, so that was good. But, winning today means they'll probably lose tomorrow, which means I probably won't post anything tomorrow. Looks like rain outside now, and it's supposed to rain through Tuesday. Hooray for gray days in May, seriously. Screw the sun. I'm too lazy to proofread this so I hope you didn't mind the typos.

You folks enjoy your weekend.

Video:

Obviously, Hollis and Morris by the Trews. Don't know how you can't enjoy this, unless you're one of those people who just listens to what's on the radio or on MTV. If you are one of those people, stop reading. You are not allowed to read this blog. Ok? Mkay.




BONUS VIDEO OEMGEE:

Because I think this song is cool too. Some extra stuff at the end. Enjoy!

The Unforgiven

I promise.

I know that probably doesn't mean much anymore, but I promise to make this more frequent. I finally have motivation to do that, so you'll be able to read my incoherent ramblings on a semi-daily basis now. Hurrah!

I'm not exactly "firing on all cylinders" today so try to bear with me. Just speaking my mind.

Let's see, it's been a while since I last posted. I had a fairly eventful spring break. Unfortunately I couldn't tag along on a mission trip to San Francisco as I had already made plans. From what I hear, though, they had an incredible experience helping the poor and homeless in the city, one that completely changed their perspective on the subject. I'm glad for them, and am kicking myself for not having gone. The best I can do is offer an awesome song that relates to it.

In place of that, I was able to hang out with some old friends, actually complete driver's ed, go to an A's game, and have a pretty fun dinner & game night with some very important people in my life. So, not all was lost. Last Friday I went to an improv show entitled "ComedySportz". I'll save you the details on what it is and how it works because if I tell you, you'll think exactly what I did: that's cheesy and stupid and won't be funny. For just the 4th time in my life, I was flagrantly wrong. Check them out, they're all over the US.

Aside from that, I'm just waiting. Waiting for the school year to be over. I'm just a term paper, a couple projects, and some finals away from that happening. About four and a half more weeks. Can't wait.

Now, for the absolute first time in my life, I've been all over the place emotionally. Well, I shouldn't say emotionally, I guess...just in terms of confidence. There's one thing that plays a huge part in that that only a couple people know about, but there are a lot of things aside from that. Sometimes I just need somebody to confide in, and I don't have that person I trust enough to do so. And I don't know that I have the ability to trust anybody that much, or to get anybody to care enough. I don't know. I can't (or just deliberately won't) explain it too much right now. Maybe that's why I promise to write here more frequently...somewhere to get out my thoughts. Then again, that sounds incredibly contradictory and stupid. Unsurprisingly, oftentimes that's exactly how I've felt recently. Meh.

I've always sort of felt a need for an "escape" from things, but never moreso than recently. That's usually baseball and music. Never more have those two things served a more important purpose in my life. I've preached about how awesome (awesome counter:2) the game of baseball is, but it's one thing that always comforts me. Watching it, talking about it, I love the game. Perhaps that's why I've been so high and low after A's wins and losses this year. I've never had more invested in this team than I do now.

Music...is great. It's funny, just 4 or 5 years ago I claimed to "not really listen to music that much". That's mostly because I was sort of shielded from "good" music. If you look hard enough, there's a lot of it that has a lot of meaning behind it, and that can help you. A lot of times it's relaxing. A lot of times you can just get lost in it. I can't imagine a life without music now.

This got way more serious/deep/personal than I ever intended, so here's a polar bear with a chainsaw.

Video:

Apocalyptica is a band composed of four Finnish cellists. Sounds incredibly unappealing, doesn't it? Well it's not. So stop thinking that. This is not an original song, but rather a song from their album of Metallica covers, "Plays Metallica by Four Cellos". This is the best cover of "The Unforgiven" I've heard, instrumental or non-instrumental. These are some talented Fins. Enjoy!