"You know what really grinds my gears?"

Now the two of you who read my last post may have been wondering why I didn't tell you things I don't like in my first entry. Well, that's because there are too many. So this begins a series of "Rants", during which I will criticize and lambaste things that I find annoying. Yeah, I can already see the cursor drifting toward the red X in the upper right hand corner. I don't blame you.

Flavor of Love. You watched it. Admit it. We all did. And better yet, you enjoyed it. It was compelling TV. Ok, so maybe not Flavor of Love. But you watched one of those VH1 dating shows. If not that, you watched The Bachelor. I won't condemn anybody for watching these shows, because then I'd be a hypocrite. At least these have some sort of game show, competitive aspect to them.

What I don't understand is this. And this. Oh, and especially this. Like really? For serious? Rizzy fo shizzy?

First of all, I don't get why these people are famous in the first place. Second of all, what in the world is the appeal? If you want to watch shows about random people living, as inane as that sounds, at least choose someone cool who does decent things. But watching people drink, curse, cry about stupid stuff, and just act overly histrionic in general seems to me to be masochism 101. I just don't get it.

Especially those folks at the Jersey Shore.

I somehow have never even stumbled upon an episode of that show, but from what I've heard it is a train wreck wrapped in a nightmare inside of a Hannah Montana concert. In other words, really really bad. I'm not usually one to judge or disparage somebody for looks, like, ever, but hopefully you'll understand here because the tan and makeup and gel and outfits give those orange oompa loompas the sex appeal of a school bus fire. In other words, no appeal. Plus, they're just terrible, obnoxious human beings in general.

So why do people watch these things? I don't know. Why does the wind blow? Why do the Jonas Brothers sell out arenas? Why do birds suddenly appear? Things don't make sense.

Bonus fact:

"Raves" scare the living crap out of me. I am claustrophobic, and a huge opponent of unnecessary screaming and loud noises in general. It's the perfect storm. Well, at least I hear they play techno music at those things. And that stuff is pretty cool. But still, eek.

Video:

I was going to give credit to the people who stole the titular phrase, the fine folks at Family Guy. But somehow there are no videos of those legendary scenes on YouTube. So then I was going to post the original scene from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. But fat chance finding that.

So instead I will leave you with the cool, catchy beats of the very underrated band Ratatat. They haven't been rapping for seventeen years, that's just the weird intro to one of many electronic rock masterpieces produced by this band. Enjoy!