"You know what really grinds my gears?"

Now the two of you who read my last post may have been wondering why I didn't tell you things I don't like in my first entry. Well, that's because there are too many. So this begins a series of "Rants", during which I will criticize and lambaste things that I find annoying. Yeah, I can already see the cursor drifting toward the red X in the upper right hand corner. I don't blame you.

Flavor of Love. You watched it. Admit it. We all did. And better yet, you enjoyed it. It was compelling TV. Ok, so maybe not Flavor of Love. But you watched one of those VH1 dating shows. If not that, you watched The Bachelor. I won't condemn anybody for watching these shows, because then I'd be a hypocrite. At least these have some sort of game show, competitive aspect to them.

What I don't understand is this. And this. Oh, and especially this. Like really? For serious? Rizzy fo shizzy?

First of all, I don't get why these people are famous in the first place. Second of all, what in the world is the appeal? If you want to watch shows about random people living, as inane as that sounds, at least choose someone cool who does decent things. But watching people drink, curse, cry about stupid stuff, and just act overly histrionic in general seems to me to be masochism 101. I just don't get it.

Especially those folks at the Jersey Shore.

I somehow have never even stumbled upon an episode of that show, but from what I've heard it is a train wreck wrapped in a nightmare inside of a Hannah Montana concert. In other words, really really bad. I'm not usually one to judge or disparage somebody for looks, like, ever, but hopefully you'll understand here because the tan and makeup and gel and outfits give those orange oompa loompas the sex appeal of a school bus fire. In other words, no appeal. Plus, they're just terrible, obnoxious human beings in general.

So why do people watch these things? I don't know. Why does the wind blow? Why do the Jonas Brothers sell out arenas? Why do birds suddenly appear? Things don't make sense.

Bonus fact:

"Raves" scare the living crap out of me. I am claustrophobic, and a huge opponent of unnecessary screaming and loud noises in general. It's the perfect storm. Well, at least I hear they play techno music at those things. And that stuff is pretty cool. But still, eek.

Video:

I was going to give credit to the people who stole the titular phrase, the fine folks at Family Guy. But somehow there are no videos of those legendary scenes on YouTube. So then I was going to post the original scene from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. But fat chance finding that.

So instead I will leave you with the cool, catchy beats of the very underrated band Ratatat. They haven't been rapping for seventeen years, that's just the weird intro to one of many electronic rock masterpieces produced by this band. Enjoy!

Rattled by the Rush

Two days late.

I'm not often the type of person who is late for anything, yet I'm launching this blog two days after I said I would. I only said this to one person, but still, it's not a good thing. How will my millions of readers be able to trust me now?!

I guess I'll just have to earn that trust. Hopefully it will come with time.

I've toyed with the idea of blogging for years now. However, whenever I thought of doing it, it was always going to be focused on sports. There was a good amount of apprehension on my part to even start this blog. I've always thought that a writing a blog about yourself is one of the most pretentious attempts at self-aggrandizement there is...and, who knows, it probably still is.

But then along came Emilie Babyak's blog (hey people who know Emilie Babyak, go read Emilie Babyak's blog). She is not pretentious or any of those other big words I used up there. So I feel better about it, though I have to admit she's probably a much nicer person than me, so this still might not be a good idea, but what the hell, we'll see what happens. And hey, at least I'm not tweeting.

As most of you know, I am Kyle Floyd. As some of you know, I am a 16 year old junior at Washington High School. That school is cool (unintentional rhyming). I remember when I graduated from 8th grade...I wanted to go to Logan so bad. I would've killed. Maybe I did kill and just got away with it. But anyway, my living arrangements and a potential murder case got in the way of those JLHS aspirations, so I ended up at Washington where I knew nobody and had no friends. But then my incredible charm took over and I have become a homecoming king and football star and the face of that school. What a Cinderella story.

So let's see...some things about me. I like sports. I like to watch and read and talk about sports. They're awesome. In fact, "Things I think I think" was stolen from Peter King of Sports Illustrated. But it applies here too. I think he'd be cool with it. The best sport is baseball. Seriously, there is nothing about it that isn't great. Baseball is awesome and if you think otherwise, this is for you. I want to be a sports broadcaster. Getting paid to sit in a booth and talk about sports...that sounds awesome. And people tell me I have a voice for it, which I suppose I do. But I also have a bit of a speech impediment. I have trouble pronouncing "er"s sometimes. Listen to me try to say "yesterday", for example. It's hilarious.

I also like to laugh. I am rarely serious and often laugh at those who are. And I laugh at everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g (spelled out for emphasis...EMPHASIS). There is nothing that is "off-limits" for me. Here are some shows I like. They range from stupid to satirical to witty to sitcommy to toilet humor:

Whose Line
Family Guy
South Park
King of Queens
The George Lopez Show
Boy Meets World
The Simpsons
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Robot Chicken

They're all good. Watch them.

The thing that I suppose anybody I've ever conversed with can tell you is that I'm incredibly sarcastic. Don't take it personally, because if you do, then I'll just laugh at you, and nothing good can come of that. I've found that it's not even something I try to do -- it just comes naturally, which may or may not be good.

Hey, that's actually a great jumping-off point.

I'm pretty much a walking anti-stereotype. I don't listen hip-hop or pop. I think it's terrible. My pants don't run away from my ass. I don't like parties or dances or things like that. I don't drink or smoke. I love baseball, and can take or leave basketball. I used to think that this was just me being obnoxious by needing to be different. But, like sarcasm, it isn't something I try to do. I'm just an inherent contrarian. I couldn't think otherwise if I tried, and I have tried. Well, I've tried some of those things. I've never drank or smoked. But I do think we all should step back and think about the fact that these people are popular.

Weed confuses me, in that I truly just don't get the appeal. Do people use it to be chill? If I was more chill I'd be dead. To have more fun? If I laughed more I might break my laugh box. To make things more interesting or awesome? Meh, I think life is interesting and awesome enough. But to each their own.

I think I'll go ahead and close with something people might not know about me.

It may not seem like it, but I am woefully shy. If I don't know you too well, then I'm probably extremely uncomfortable when talking to you. But thats where laughter/humor/sarcasm comes in. That's what I mask it with. At least, try to. You tell me if it works.

Well, that's enough rambling about me for now. I have some other things in store for this blog so stay tuned. It won't just be me talking about me (unfortunately, i know). But all two of you who have read this far (seriously, give yourselves a big hand) are probably wondering...well, what the hell is "Rattled by the Rush"? Well, I'm not that creative. So all my titles will be a reference to something else. In this case, a song. I'll end most blog entries with a video, sometimes music-related and sometimes something I think is funny.

"Rattled by the Rush" is the last song I listened to, by a band called Pavement, and it is awesome (how many times have I used that word now?). The guitar solo is great. Enjoy!