Long time no blog...

Thank God it's Friday. Really, I'm seriously.

Every time I start a long-term blog-type thing, it's over a weekend or break, and I always assume I'll be able to keep it up during the week. And every time, that never happens. I'm either too tired or too busy to do it. I'm still pretty tired now, but the blog must go on...

I don't really have any sort of direction for this one, so I'll just go with whatever pops in my head. Well, not whatever pops into my head, but you know what I mean.

If you're wondering where I got the idea of putting all the links in, either because you think it's neat or it's really stupid, well there are a few reasons. For one, I've read other blogs that do it and it always turns out pretty well. Second, as anyone who's read anything I've written anywhere probably has figured out by now, I'm very uncomfortable talking without adding some sort of humor or distraction. Without it it's just the boring drivel of some annoying arrogant black guy. And lastly, most of my humor is snarky comments responding to something else or a reference to something else. I'm not really original at all. If I tried stand up I'd be horrible.

I guess while I'm continuing to ramble on about this thing I created, I should explain the url too. Well, "enigmatic conundrum" is supposed to satirize the fact that I am nothing of the sort. I'm as much of a simpleton as you'll find. And I told you I'm not funny.

Moving on from that, I was reading one of many books about WWF superstars the other day so I guess I can talk about that. I havent watched pro wrestling in a while now, but I still get annoyed when people shrug it off as being "fake" or "gay". 95% of the people in the world could not do what those guys do. Getting into that business is hell. I was reading Adam "Edge" Copeland's book about winter "death" tours in which he'd drive 20 hours in -30 degree temperature to go perform in front of 50 people for 75 bucks. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin was on a diet of tuna fish and raw potatoes for months while traveling in Tennessee working in any place you can find. You have to sacrifice so much to even have a chance to get into that business. And you have to be dedicated.

I haven't even mentioned the fact that you have to be really freaking athletic and intelligent. Though match outcomes are determined beforehand, everything you see out there is improvised. Seriously, they'll tell you to go out and wrestle for 20 minutes, and put on a show. It's actually really interesting when you figure out how it's done. And the mat, the mat is no joke. It's thin canvas on top of wood on top of a mattress. There's very little give. Now imagine having to jump on and off that for over 300 days a year, while safely performing a variety of athletic moves. It's not "fake". It is scripted, but anybody who steps into a ring will tell you it isn't fake. You can and will get seriously hurt during matches and are expected to continue right through it. Really, it's remarkable. I have great respect for pro wrestlers.

I've gained the same sort of respect for people in film. Now I'll be the first to tell you that celebrity coverage is a joke and actors are overpaid and ridiculously glorified and not that important and all that noise. But acting is tough, man. You have to work to get those roles, and filming itself is very very hard and tedious. Same with directors and writers. Those guys are really amazing to me, because you have to have so much vision, creativity, and pure talent to do both. Can you imagine writing a three-hour script. That idea is insane to me. Coming up with it and directing it is even more incredible. Those guys are really really talented.

Wow, after talking so much about how I have to inject some sort of humor into everything, there was none in the last four paragraphs. I am an admitted hypocrite. Oh well. Just because I can't think of anything else right now, here are some things I like and don't like:

I like:

to move it move it
Norm Macdonald. Funniest guy ever.
Brian Regan. Also funny. I can always respect a comedian who can be clean and funny. Sex jokes and gay jokes are as easy as Lindsay Lohan after she's had a few. See? Easy. This isn't.
big butts and I cannot lie
iTunes
People who watch or listen to old stuff. Like, if you know who Rod Serling is, you get a thousand points
"the first scissor cut into a fresh piece of construction paper"
pages on facebook
wordplay, puns, anything witty
the onion
bacon
Rachel McAdams. Gorgeouser than you.
the old game show Match Game

I don't like:

writer's block
when people say "what" after they heard what you said
when people say things to get you to ask things. like saying "UGGGGHHH I CANT BELIEVE THIS" and then expecting me to ask what's wrong. if something's wrong, say it
when people say they're fine when they're not
skinny jeans
makeup. because my mom and sisters hog up the mirror for eleventy billion hours putting it on, because there's so much of it, because lots of girls overdo it and because it's usually unnecessary
when i get a million status updates about the same thing. i didnt even feel that earthquake
How somehow I decided somewhere up there to stop using capital letters
when people talk using textspeak
unnecessary loud noise
people who make it a point to tell you that they are tough or "not to mess with them". stop it.
batteries. they always go out at the worst possible time, like the batteries in my mouse and keyboard right now
advertisements on youtube
how my "dont like" list is always way longer then my "like" list. makes me seem like such an unhappy person

I'm gonna go ahead and end this torture now. I promise better blogs in the future. TGIF, time to GTFO.

Video:

The Dead Weather is awesome. Really, everything Jack White does is awesome. Well I don't know everything he does, but his music is good. Like the last blog, if there's anything you do read or watch in this entry I hope it's this. So, so great. If this doesn't get your toes-a-tappin' or your heads-a-rockin' or other body parts doing various things, I don't know what will. Enjoy!